Thursday, May 10, 2007


John got me an iPod for Christmas. At first I wasn't terribly excited. I thought it was more of a gift for teenagers and college age kids than for a mom of two hooligans(I mean that in the most affectionate way possible). I was completely wrong! My iPod has become one of most favorite possessions. Not only is it useful for blocking out whiny voices at the end of the day but it has reminded me of my love for music. Growing up I was passionate about music. It surrounded everything I did and made up a large part of who I was. Marriage and parenthood has changed me, in good ways for the most part, but I have realized that I lost who I was for a while. It sounds strange - how could I lose myself when I knew exactly where I was? Anyway, I did and I have spent the last year trying to rediscover who I am. My iPod has been almost more helpful than therapy.
For me the music that I enjoy becomes a soundtrack in my life. Some of my most favorite songs mark important occasions, special feelings, and unforgettable moments in my past. People might describe my taste in music as eclectic. I just think my taste in music is as varied as the experiences in my life.
Lisa Loeb's album "Firecracker" reminds me of my semester in Russia. I listened to it on the way back to my apartment after taking John to the airport at the end of his visit. I cried the entire way home and most of the afternoon. So when I hear songs from that album it reminds me of that day and the concern and polite solicitations of the other passengers in the shuttle I took from the airport to the subway. The shuttle was full of middle aged Russian men who normally are not the most kind and gentle of men when dealing with complete strangers. In fact, had I been in my right mind, I would not have gotten in a shuttle with that many Russian men in the first place. When I choked through my tears to ask which subway station we were approaching, they bent over backwards trying to help me get to where I needed to go. I think one of them actually escorted me to the station when we arrived.
The song All-Star by Smashmouth reminds me of the summer John and I got engaged. We spent the summer in Orem, UT. That song reminds me of new love, Dairy Queen stops, and driving around with the windows down while we sang along to the radio.
I could describe millions of such instances. I think in a way music helps trigger my memory and evokes the same strong emotions as if it were happening all over again. How could I not love my iPod? It doesn't merely contain 2 GB of music, but 2 GB of memories.

1 comment:

Julianna Kohler said...

I completely understand the soundtrack of life! I bought an ipod so I could easily transport my musical collection across continents, and it provides sanity when I'm working, and a taste of home when I'm nowhere near. And it's way lighter than 200 CDs!!

I'm happy to hear that you're starting the self-reclamation process--we all need it periodically. :)