Monday, April 9, 2007

Is anybody there?

I talk to myself. I have for years.
Maybe I get it from my mother who used to argue with herself in the car when I was a child. I think she was preparing comebacks for her next fight with my dad. Regardless - it has become a habit for me. So you can consider this blog the physical manifestation of my internal monologue (the edited version anyway).
Anyway, I recently read a fabulous book called Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. In it one of the main characters had the ability to read people's thoughts. I would love to have that ability! I feel like we spend so much time and energy behaving in what we believe is the socially acceptable way. I would love for us to be able to drop the facade and really tell people what we thought and felt. I understand the necessity to be nice so we don't hurt the people around us, but it would remove so much of the world's misunderstandings! Have you ever looked at one of your friends after they say or do something unexpected and realize that you really don't know them at all? You don't know what makes them tick. You don't know what makes them sad, happy, scared, excited, furious.
To be able to just pick your friends' thoughts out of the air, to know what they are thinking, their motivation behind it, would be such a gift.
I recently suffered a bout of mostly chemical/hormomnal induced depression. I know I was acting more than a little crazy and yet my friends all said they had no idea anything was going on at all. Is this true? Do they normally think I am insane,brainless and preoccupied?

Who knows, they could be right.

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