almost baby crazy

I went to the park today to hang out with a bunch of women from church and to let all of our kids play together for a couple of hours. One of my friends who had just had a baby was there with her newborn. There were also several other moms there with babies less than one year old. It made me almost baby crazy. As I held the tiny babies in my arms I felt peaceful and happy, but the thought of having my own baby sent waves of fear and queasiness through me.
I love my kids. They are the light of my life. They bring me all sorts of joy and sweetness. But, as wonderful as they are, they are also a lot of hard work and frustration at times.
Our religion is one of spiritual impressions. We are allowed personal revelation as to the things we should be doing in our lives. Our religion is also one which emphasizes the importance of families. If we are able to have many children we should. Physically and financially I think we could have a few more kids. Emotionally, I am petrified to even try for a third. I feel good these days - better than I have for years - do I really want to risk my emotional well-being for the sake of having another baby? Am I being incredibly selfish? Probably. But until I can work through the fear I will content myself with my two sweet boys and be happy with the fact that at least I have them.
When I start feeling that itch again, I can always hold my friends' babies.

house shopping

We are planning on putting our house on the market next spring so we have begun testing the waters in Wallingford,PA (where we want to end up) to see if there is anything that would work for us. I am a little overwhelmed by the whole idea. We have a ton of work to do on our house to get it ready to be shown and we are very picky about what we want in our new house. We want something in the Strathaven-Wallingford school district - that includes Wallingford, Swarthmore, South Media and anywhere else in Nether Providence. We would love a 4 bedroom, 2 1/2 bathroom house with a master suite, nice kitchen, living room, dining room, family room and a fenced in back yard. It needs to be somewhere closer to John's work but we would prefer it is in the Broomall 2nd ward boundries. I told you we are picky! :) I would love a new construction but the taxes are generally too high so we are looking for something that has been recently refurbished.
We are going to look at a house today in Wallingford. It actually fits most of the desired qualifications, but it is a little more than we had wanted to spend so who knows. I am excited but frustrated at the same time. I get attached to houses when I see them. I am actually redecorating as I walk through and tend to set me heart on the each new house we look at. It took us forever to decide on the house we live in now. I can only imagine how much harder it is going to be to pick out a house where we will most likely spend the majority of the rest of our lives. Crazy!

The Deathly Hallows *Spoiler Alert*

We finished reading The Deathly Hallows at 1:30 this morning. John and I read the book aloud together so I had to endure a few days of looking at the book but not being able to read while he was at work. Torture!
Now that we have finished I have to say I absolutely loved it! It was a little long in the beginning when Harry, Ron and Hermione are wandering somewhat aimlessly looking for horcruxes (horcruxi?) but otherwise I think JK Rowling did a fabulous job adding all sorts of new, interesting details and keeping true to the characters and resolving the issues she presented.
I loved all of the details about Dumbledore's past! Children forget sometimes that their parents or teachers were children before and have lives of their own. Rowling displayed this brilliantly and Harry's discovery of Dumbledore past enabled Harry to face his own issues and fears despite his anger at Dumbledore. I sobbed through the 3rd to last chapter when Harry was walking to meet Voldemort and his death - which made things difficult as I was the one reading at the time. It is very hard to read and cry at the same time! John had to take over for me.
I loved all of the little details that were in the book. Potterwatch was a brilliant addition to the story - especially with Lee Jordan as the broadcaster. Neville's rebellious courage and guerilla warfare at Hogwarts had me standing up and cheering! Best of all was the introduction of the Deathly Hallows by known crackpot Xenophilias Lovegood. So funny that the truth of the story came from him and that Harry when faced between the choice of ultimate power (gaining the Hallows) or the destruction of Voldemort (destroying the horcruxes) - Harry opted for the greater good. Interesting that the power hungry wizards Voldemort and Grindelwald were destroyed in their quest for the most powerful wand and with it their unrighteous quest for domination. So much great social commentary and religious symbolism I could get a little carried away so I think I will stop there.
Just one more thing... JK Rowling deserves every penny she earns for this book and all the others in the series. Any author that gets people (myself included) to stand in line for hours in the middle of the night just for a book, deserves to be richer than the queen!

easy money

Everyone wants easy money - why else would so many people play the lottery? However, with the increase in feelings of entitlement and lack of work ethic that run rampant these days, people try to get easy money whether it harms the people around them or not. Their methods may be simple theivery or the more ambiguous form of stealing - frivilous lawsuits.
A doctor we know is mixed up in such a lawsuit right now. In fact, he will be out of his office and unavailable to patients for a week and a half because of it. A patient whom he had treated correctly had not followed his advice and ended up in the emergency room and shortly after, passed away. Our friend is being sued for malpractice along with the docs in the er. I am sorry the guy died, but honestly if you aren't going to follow the directions of the doctor why bother asking his advice.!!! His family is looking for someone to blame and a way to profit off his death. I think this is not only wrong but sick! Lawsuits such as this one not only tie up the courts from taking care of serious matters but they also waste a lot of money and can ruin careers of honest, hard-working doctors.
John and I have thought up some solutions to reduce the number of this type of lawsuits.
1) Fine the lawyers a significant amount of money (from their own pocket, not their firm) and for especially atrocious lawsuits maybe let the lawyers cool their heels in jail for a few days instead of chasing ambulances.
2) Take away the medical licenses of the doctors who provide faulty information as "expert" witness for the case.
3) Have a fine for the plantiff as well. Perhaps they will think twice before making a break for "easy money" when there is a penalty if they lose.
I know some really amazing lawyers so don't think I am againt anyone who works in the field, I am just so sick of people that will do anything for money. Perhaps with penalties in place we can make an end to these frivilous lawsuits and improve healthcare by allowing doctors to actually do their work.

Harry Potter

As this is international Harry Potter month (or at least it should be!) I thought I would put in my two cents.
I can't wait to see Order of the Phoenix. I have spent the last few nights having a Harry Potter marathon of the first four movies. I would have preferred to see #5 when it opened on Wednesday but softball and our babysitters' schedule won't let us get there until Saturday afternoon. I have heard complaints that the movie doesn't follow the book exactly. Well...duh! If the movie followed the book exactly it would be 10 hours long. What I love about the Harry Potter movies is that they take the story and characters I love and brings them to life, highlighting the coolest parts and showing things that I may have had a hard time picturing in my head ie: quidditch and Voldemort sticking out of the back of Professor Quirrell's head. From the clips I have seen I think the movie will be fabulous.
As for the release of book 7, I am so ancy! I reread books 5 and 6 a few months ago and from little things in the text, here is my opinion (notice I said OPINION - feel free to disagree):
1) Snape is evil. He has always despised Harry Potter due to his old hatred for Sirius, Lupin, and James. Those three made Snape afraid and humiliated - something that someone with Snape's personality would never forgive nor forget no matter how much Dumbledore trusted him. Like Anakin Skywalker, the dark side of the force has taken over Snape and he is getting sick of pretending otherwise.
2) Harry will not die. I am betting on Ron, Hermione or Ginny as one of the two casualties. Mr or Mrs Weasley or Neville will be the other casualty. I think JK Rowling is far too attached to Harry to kill him off, but I don't think she would hesitate to improve her plot by killing off someone else Harry loves.
3) Dumbledore is not coming back but there is a chance that Sirius might. Something Dumbledore says in book 5 about the department of mysteries leaves the door open a crack for that. (I don't remember exactly what it was, I'll have to look it up again.)
We will be in Rochester, NY when book 7 is released. Don't worry! I have already tracked down a Borders and preordered our copy. We will be there for the midnight party. Obsessed? Maybe.

Trial by four-year-old

If I were to meet Saint Peter at his pearly gates today I know he would turn me away. It is not that I am intrinsically a bad person, I am simply the mother of a four-year-old. My Samuel has always been so sweet, kind, timid and loving. Yet, somehow when he turned four he mutated into a little bit of a demon child... okay, a lot bit of a demon child. In fact, he may actually be the leader of the demon children.
Case in point: We went to Verizon today to get a new cell phone for John. We had been there recently to get me a new phone so I reviewed the rules for good behavior with Sam and James before we got out of the car. Rule #1: No running! Rule #2: No yelling! Rule #3: No pulling things off of the shelves and racks! Once both boys had assured me of their obedience, we entered. After that things went downhill. Samuel and James immediately began running around and yelling and in some cases, roaring. There were very few people in the store at the time so I let them play and tried to be not too controlling. As time went on, more and more people filled the store, Sam and James began running faster and Sam decided the stock on the shelves looked better on the floor. Just for fun he began pulling the price tags off the shelves too. At this point John picked up James and I sat on the floor holding Sam as calmly as possible. While trapped on my lap Sam began shouting, "Daddy! Help me!" and "James, come rescue me!" and "Help! Help! Heeeeeeelllllllllllllppp!" At this point I began threatening bodily harm.
I eventually let Sam back up and he began throwing his stuffed zebra around the store with no attention as to who or what was in the way. I confiscated the zebra. Sam threw himself on the floor screaming "I want my zebra!!" The grandmotherly woman in the store was giving me looks that could wither the healthiest of egos and at this point Samuel opened the front door and - dragging James with him - ran out of the store and into the parking lot. Wishing I could tell the holier-than-thou grandmother what I really thought of her disapproving glare, I raced out the door to catch my kids, admonishing them on the dangers of parking lots and leaving the store without mommy or daddy and every other lecture I could think of. Sam looked up at me and laughed, "That was really funny! Huh mommy!?!"
I didn't strangle him, but I can't say that the thought didn't at least cross my mind. Hence my unsatisfactory review with Saint Peter.

James' smile

Nothing in the world melts my heart as easily as James' smile! There is something about the combination of his sweet innocence and impish grin that is completely disarming. I am sure when he is in high school it will be considered his most dangerous wepon with the girls. In the meantime, it gets him out of almost as much trouble as he manages to get in to.

kids say the darndest things

I just can't pass up sharing this!
While we were driving to the library today we were listening to the soundtrack to Peter Pan and as usual Samuel and James were singing along. The words to the song they were singing are supposed to be:

We're plucky buccaneers
and each a murderous crook.
We massacre indians, kill little boys
and cater to Captain Hook.

Here is Samuel's version:

We're plenty buck and ears
and each a murderous cook.
We messenger indians, till little boys
and cater to Captain Hook.

James just got the last word of each line.

I love how innocent kids are that they just don't get the meaning - even when they are singing along! I wish we could keep Sam and James so blissfully ignorant.

work, work, work

I am incredibly envious of those people who have always known what they want to do when they "grew up." I have never had any idea. I know that I do not want to spend every day from 9-5 behind a desk, other than that I am at a loss. In my earliest memories I wanted to be a veterinarian - of course that was before I learned that you have to actually give shots and before I learned that I am allergic to animal dander. I also wanted to be a professional opera singer - until I learned that I really don't enjoy singing opera. I wanted to be a shrink - but honestly two in a family is more than enough. I wanted to be a social worker - but was quickly disallusioned when I moved to Philadelphia and was confronted with the realities of poverty.
The reason this subject has come up again is because my kids are getting to an age where they will be in pre-k and play groups. So now I am looking at becoming a real estate agent. It is not something I would ever have come up with on my own, but John jokingly suggested it and after thinking about it and talking to friends who do it, I think I would really enjoy it. It is a flexible career that involves deskwork but also human interaction when showing houses and working on getting houses sold/bought. I find the whole process fascinating, and since I spend so much time on the internet looking at houses already, it will not be a huge change. Besides even if all I ever do is sell our house and buy us a new one, the benefits will far outweigh the cost of the education. Who knows what will happen, but one thing I do know: I am not a one-job-for-my- entire-lifetime type of person. I am more a try-as-many-different-things-as-you can person. It my be hectic, but hey, that is who I am.